Jamaica
Negril, Jamaica
October 15, 1996
The question is has it become a rip-off -- with all the hype of the Jamaican
Tourist board, one wonders, is it is a mirage or truly a single man's
paradise and worthy of all those glitzy promos and exotic promises. We will
find out and we know one thing for sure, Jamaica does have beautiful women.
Publisher Note:
Probably your second question about Negril (first being, are those famous
sunsets true? -- they are) is the action at the Super-Clubs. Although we
have also heard about those drunken (naughty) orgies, nude beaches and those
erotic hot-tub parties we are not going to explore these self-contained
destination resorts (best known, being Hedonism II).
Although these all-inclusive resorts are becoming the norm in Jamaica, we
won't explore these properties. Why? This is not our style of travel. We
like to meet (mingle, flirt, seduce) the local population -- not our next
door neighbor. These resorts protect and shield you from the people and the
land of a foreign country. This is not travel, but just changing places
where your drink and party. I love travel for the adventure and the
excitement of not knowing who, how or where you'll meet your next love (let
alone the experience of understanding a new country and its culture). If we
get bored we will drop by one of these resorts, otherwise let's explore
Negril as an independent traveler who just loves the experience of travel
and a chance of (new) romance.
Getting there:
Getting to the Caribbean is easy and American airlines seems to have a
monopoly on the routes. Air Jamaica never made it to L.A. (no FAA approval
or ran out of money) so for me this was the only choice.
You'll land in Montego Bay (a fun place in itself) and after fighting off
the customs and crowds (not a great airport) you have three choices to
Negril (a two hour drive West):
1. Take the bus (not recommended)
2. Hire a taxi (bargain hard). $50.00-$70.00 one-way to Negril
3. Have your hotel pick you up. Recommended and it will be included on
your hotel tab.
When you make a reservation, ask them if they can pick you up. You will only
save a little but alot less stressful, especially after escaping the airport
turmoil. They will have a sign with your name on it ... a site for weary
eyes
When to go:
I like traveling to the Caribbean in the off season, May 15 to September 15.
Yes, the weather is a little different (periods of sun, afternoon thunder
showers and slim chance of an hurricane) but the $ you save makes it a wise
decision. Hotels can be off as much as 50% when you book direct (don't be
talked into prepaying your whole trip, you might find a better deal once you
are there).
A real bonus is the type of vacationer you'll meet and see. Seems Americans
and Canadians come during the winter and Germans and Italians during [Image]
the Summer. What does this mean for the single male traveler? Well,
a lot of beautiful European "topless ladies" and no chance of running into
your next-store neighbor (or ex-wife).
Where to stay:
First, Negril is NOT that old cheap hippie gang-out of the 60's -- those
days are long gone. Prices are now comparable to any popular Caribbean beach
resort. Expect to pay around $75.00-100.00 during the Summer month and
30-40% more in the winter. Make sure to ask if the tax (16%) is included and
if any meals are part of the rate. Both these small items can make a big
difference in the final tab.
Hotels are located in three areas of Negril (map) . First (as you approach
the seven mile beach from the North) are the beach hotels along Norman
Manley Blvd, then comes Negril town, and a few hotels are here. As you
follow the same road out of town you'll reach the "Cliff's area" (called
West end, where the famous Rick's cafe is) and some beautiful properties,
but alas no beach.
We'll concentrate on the beach area hotels within a proximity of one mile to
town. Remember, the beach is seven miles long and there are hundreds of
places to choose from. The big all-inclusive hotel clubs are clustered at
the beginning of the seven mile beach, about five miles from town.
We will concentrate on the hotels that are within walking distance to town.
This stretch is perfect, a 15 minute walk to town (South) and a few minute
walk North (up the beach) to the Reggae bars of Debuss, Risky Business and
Alfred's Ocean Palace. Being close to these bars is a real plus, and listen
on the beach for the guy with the bull-horn to announce where tonights
action is.
The Hotels
Negril Garden Hotel (809-957-4408). A 75 room hotel, each unit has four
rooms, two bottom and two up. A relaxing landscape grounds like an English
Garden and a very good choice for your first stay in Negril. Yes all rooms
have a T.V. (U.S.feed) and A/C. A bonus is the nice pool and tennis courts.
Big with tour groups (Germans and French) and moderately priced.
Rondel Village (809-957-4413). If you like something different, then this is
it! The unique octagonal Deluxe Villas are a prototype of indigenous Negril
architecture and can accomodate up to six people. Complete with kitchen and,
oh yes, your private whirlpool spa! A little pricey but worth it if there is
a bunch of you. Summer rates start at $115.00 and up.
Sandi San (809-957-4487). A small (very new and comfy) intimate resort
nestled in the middle of Negril Beach. Superior summer rates start at $65.00
and go up to $100.00 for the Ocean View Deluxe that can sleep four and has a
kitchen. A great location and good value, but no pool. For you swimmers, I
swam my laps in the ocean ... that's how calm and clear the waters of Negril
beach are.
T-Water Hotel (809-957-4270, fax 809-957-4334) and a U.S Reservation line of
1-800-654-1592). This is where we stayed and our recommended choice. Not
1-800-654-1592). This is where we stayed and our recommended choice. Not
because of the gorgeous rooms (they're just okay) or the $ value [Image]
($90.00 to $150.00 but does include all taxes AND a good breakfast
and lunch) but it's a family run hotel, people have been there forever (say
Hi to Spike, the bartender for us) and feels like a home in Negril. Most of
the rooms are simple (ask for the ones with the mini refrig and small T.V.)
and the ocean front are the nicest BUT noisy due to being next door to the
popular bar (music on till 11.00 P.M).
While at the T-Water we stayed in #50, (a total of seventy rooms, cluster
around the bar, upstairs and around the small but quiet pool area) upstairs,
quiet , little view, but cheerful and all the goodies. The beach bar is a
meeting place in Negril. If you can ever catch the owners or manager (Jean
Ann) you might be able to talk her into using their net connection, i.e.,
e-mail and browsing the web for weather and reconfirming your flights! A top
choice and make sure you don't miss their Friday night barbecue (show
includes a live African dance group, limbo contest and my favorite -- the
fire eater). (e-mail, twater@toj.com)
Negril Beach Club (809-957-4221). Closest to town and Summer rates start at
$50.00 (no balcony or patio). A good value with an ocean front beach club,
all types of rooms and villas and very popular with that European topless
crowd.
Remember, all hotels have a different policy to taxes, tips, meals (included
or not) airport transportation, and the possibilities of an over-night
guest. Don't assume ... ASK first!
Activities
Daytime ...
In Negril you're on one of the worlds great beaches. Seven miles of
turquoise clear waters, gentle sea breezes, nightly Reggae parties, fireball
sunsets and nothing more needed than a bath suit and sandals are required of
you.
You can take river rafting trips, waterfalls hikes, diving, snorkeling and
even shopping trips. Your hotel can arrange this, but the brochure type
sites are far, far away (Dunn's Waterfall and the Cave Grotto are a good
four and a half hours away). I say, "forget it" and beach yourself for your
stay ... the beach is absolutely perfect. Early morning walks (in case you
go to bed early) are mesmerizing for clearing that confused head of yours
and the evening breezes make nighttime a joy.
Note: While we were there, the weather pattern never changed. Mornings
crystal clear, early afternoon some clouds, middle afternoon thunderstorms
and evening crystal clear again with soft ocean breezes -- perfect!
DRUGS ...
I mention this under activities because it is such a large part of Negril
culture. First we recommend that you do not buy any drugs in a foreign
country ... this is a NO-NO (visions of Midnight-Express). Perhaps you were
born in the 60's hippie era (no, I didn't go to Berkeley in the 60's,
U.C.L.A and I still have the urge now and then) where a good joint was a
true find. Well, on my run the first day I was offered marijuana, coke,
hash, opium and something I didn't even understand. Price started at $40.00
for a lid and went down to $10.00 as I didn't slow down. If you consider
this an important activity then you've come to the right place. Every hotel
has his "dope man" and even though illegal, it is done right in front of the
beach police (think they are in on the action). It's your choice!
Also, a good time to talk about "Higglers" (in Asia called touts), those
guys who bug you constantly to buy things. Jamaica is the worst I've seen
for being pestered. A simple walk means being asked if you want a cab,
drugs, a hotel, t-shirt, sun glasses or ?. It never stops, and this is my
worst complaint about Jamaica. Just say "NO MAN" and start practicing your
accent now -- you'll need it!
Night Time ...
For the single male looking for unlimited opportunities for beach romances,
there are better places than Negril (i.e. Boca Chica, Phuket, Rio, Manila).
We did find some naughty alternatives (more on this in the naughty section).
Most of the night time activities take place at the Reggae parties!
At these Reggae parties you hear some awesome music (live) under the stars
and it is FREE. The clubs entice you by an early dinner and drinks (where
they make there $) and a good seat for the show. If you like this kind of
music, then you're in Reggae heaven. All we saw here (in way of romance)
were Jamaican men courting the visting tourist ladies.
During the week I was there I didn't see many local women at these parties,
seemed more for the tourist. I'm told that sometimes these parties become a
hang-out for locals trying to impress the single male tourist -- I didn't
see them, just a lot of Jamaican men scoring on the single female tourist
population.
Women only ...
During my stay (my girlfriend was with me) it became apparent this was a
single woman's heaven, not a mans. The Jamaican men swoop down upon [Image]
the single women (no age requirement here), seducing them with their
easy-going way and smiles of " no problem man."
Most every single white girl we saw (yes, most where English nurses or an
Italian tour) had a local boyfriend. Seems as we American men find Asian
women a mystical creature, European women find these black hunks an
irresistible delicacy. If you are a single woman who happens to be reading
this article, my girlfriend recommends Negril as the ultimate beach
paradise. But, alas, these single women have the same problems as us men ...
all hotel security guards know these gigolo's (in the Dominican Republic
they are called "slankie pankies") and getting them into your room is almost
impossible. Well, there is always that seven miles of empty beach.
Naughty night life
Not to fret guys, we did find some interesting diversions for you, but first
a travel note.
Meeting local women in Negril is not like it's counter parts a few hundred
miles East in the Dominican Republic (i.e., Sosua or Boca Chica). Here women
attack you at night as you walk down the street and a daytime stroll on the
beach means some sort of erotic proposal from one of the Dominican female
locals. Not so in Negril, (it's possible to meet one on the beach, but be
careful, it could be an American tourist -- Jamaica is a hot vacation spot
for Black Americans) but here are your best bets:
Compulsion Disco -- Open Wednesday and Saturday night and in
the middle of Negril town. It is a "hot" disco and here are Sexy dancing
the local girls. Watching them do their dirty dancing will arouse your basic
instincts. When one does it in front of you (and not on the dance floor) I
think you'll get the message. You'll still have to approach her, ask her
dance and ask if she is busy later on. These things take time, but usually
the girl will ask, " when can we go."
Charge for a private dance in your hotel room can vary (going rate was
$50.00-70.00) and Jamaican ALWAYS start high. Depending on your plans after
your interlude will also affect the charge (can she stay with you or was it
just a quick show). Remember these girls are amateurs and just out for a
little extra change and some are at Compulsions just to dance, not to
entertain.
For a sure thing there is another option -- Close Encounters
Close Encounters is open every night (thank god) and starts around 9.00 P.M.
and closes at 4.00 A.M. It is located a few minutes up the hill (from
downtown Negril) towards the West End.
Close Encounters is not a disco but an erotic bar. On stage you'll see a few
beauties in varies stages of undressing and milling around are some
non-professionals trying to get into the act. Yes, you can take a dancer
home (need to pay a bar fine, about 500 Jamaican $) and the rest is
negotiable between you and her. If you are staying at a no-outside-guest
type of hotel you might want to try her place (not-recommended).
A better plan is to invite her over for afternoon lunch and then getting her
to your room is usually " no problema man."
The girls outside (the club is upstairs and a balcony provides the strays a
good few of you as you walk) are open for any ideas or proposals --these
girls aren't as attractive as those on stage, but there is no bar fine.
As for the ladies pecuniary reimbursement, (money) again hard
negotiations is the norm. I found no matter what you are
trying to purchase in Jamaica (a cab ride, T-shirt, dope or a Waiting for ?
topless dancer) they start about double the going price and YOU have to
bargain them down. You know you reached rock bottom when they let you walk
away with no counter offer!
Prices start over $100.00 but this is again arbitrary and as you bargain and
the night moves on she might wind up paying you :-), well almost!
Conclusion:
If you like a vacation to one of the world's great beaches (1 2), hate
non-English speaking destinations, enjoy (Reggae) new music as prime
entertainment, miss those free-wheeling drug days of the 60's, don't mind
slim pickings in the local women scene, and don't want to be too far from
the U.S., yet something exotic, then Negril is a great choice.
If having hordes of loose women chasing you down the street is your idea of
a great vacation, then man, you've come to the wrong place.
Footnote ...
We took our own advice and stayed in Montego Bay the day before departure.
That evening we found the best opportunities for meeting local Jamaican
women that we had all week.
Our first stop was a strip-club, bar, and disco close to the airport --
called Flamingo. A fun place (much better than Close Encounters in Negril)
with lots of pretty girls strolling inside and out. A table outside lets you
negotiate, but the prices were ridiculous and this is a good place to drink,
watch and maybe get lucky (hefty bar fine and greedy girls could make this
an expensive evening).
A much better alternative (and much more fun) is ten minutes from the
A much better alternative (and much more fun) is ten minutes from the
airport and is at the famous Doctors Cave Beach area (we stayed at
the Doctor's Cave Beach Hotel, also there is a nice Quality Inn or
maybe the Wexford Hotel) and although quite commercial, the night life is
hot.
A block East of these hotels is a small park with outside dining, a Reggae
band and a bar in the back. Called PJ's, this is the place between 9.30 P.M
and 12.00 P.M. Girls gather around the back bar and you can just walk up to
them, flirt a little and ask them to join you for a drink. After closing (or
before?) activities can be negotiated (remember to bargain, they expect it)
and prices are reasonable ($ 50.00 to $100.00).
Your hotel will charge an extra $20.00 or so for a joining fee -- no matter
if it's ten minutes or all-night.
Not only did we meet the most beautiful Jamaican girl we had seen on our
entire week trip (a local 19 year old college student) but she became a
friend and explained the in and outs of being a semi-professional in Montego
Bay. She explained, "prices are never set and sometimes there are none --
just how we feel and how the family is doing that week" (had four brothers
and sisters plus an unemployed father).
Her other tip was for a single male was to head out to the Paradise Disco (a
few blocks East) after midnight where naughty dancing and erotic flirting is
the norm (and a large selection of locals).
Well, now we know where to start when we come back!
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Travel Tips
With all those new safety regulations and airline cut-backs here are my tips
to beat the system
1. You've heard this before, but carry your luggage on the plane. Perhaps
you'll have to wash a pair of socks or underwear to make it through your
trip, but the headaches it prevents is worth the trouble. Here's why:
A. There now double checks of all checked luggage -- ugh! Carry
ons only get checked once!
B. You head straight to the gate, no long lines at check in.
C. No waiting for luggage to arrive at the carousel -- first in
the custom lines first out! I love it!
D. Plane late for the connecting flight (they all are now), no
problema, you have your luggage!
Yes, a little more work, but certainly worth it!
2. Get in line to board the plane before your row is called (at least, get
in line behind the row that is called, the seldom stop you if no-one else is
behind you). Now, you'll have a place to put your carry-on luggage and avoid
the cattle stamped for over-head bins in your row section.
3. Always store your luggage in front of you, not behind. When you depart
you now can flow with the passengers as they depart -- no waiting or going
against the flow of traffic.
4. Get a seat as close to the front as possible -- smoother ride and you can
always sneak into business class and take a magazine or two and use their
toilet. Food served first and first off the plane makes this a good plan.
5.Airlines now charge for audio and movies, bring your headphones from your
walkman and it's free :-)
Jamaican Tidbits
* Jamaican Dollar is around 32-35 per one U.S. Dollar. Currency is
interchangeable ... "no problema"
* On the beach, beach boys with a bull-horn will announce where tonights
Regggae party is -- usually free so pay attention
* Bargain hard for everything. The locals assume you are the one "dope"
who doesn't know any better and will make their day! Prices can start
as much as double the real worth
* Electricity is same as ours so you can bring all your toys
* You can drink the water, in fact they call the water "the healthiest in
the world" -- their tap water taste better than California bottled
water
* You can pay with your credit card, but the bill will be converted to
U.S. dollars -- now you'll know the real cost but loose a little in the
conversion (bank is around 34-35 to the U.S. Dollar, you'll get 32-34
on your credit card).
* Tipping is up to you. Most places add a 10% service charge but good
service requires more
* Make your plane reservation so that your return in mid-day departure
from Montego-Bay. It is an unpredictable one and a half to two hour
drive from Negril. I suggest you spend your last day in Montego-Bay ...
a five minute drive then to the airport.
* Make sure your try the Jerk (spicy and roasted) chicken and pork. A
all-time favorite meal -- DeBuss has the best and make sure you throw
some fries on top of your order<
* If you must site-see and don't like bus tours (I hate them) hire a car
and driver and bargain hard. Directions are poor, road driving the
pits, and traffic even worse. We got a six hour day from a driver in
Montego Bay who took us to the Dunn's falls, the Grotto caves, and
hi-lites of the area for $70.00. Also a great way to learn about the
Jamaican way and life -- lots of good talk and candid comments
* Nothing ever starts on time or (or ends), but, " Hey-man," you're on
vacation so who cares.
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