Posted By: Biz
Saturday, 31 October 1998, at 1:59 p.m.
I have been reading the debates about women from different parts of the world, tourists from different countries, etc. Thankfully, I am able to travel the world a great deal, five stars sometimes and tourist class others - some of it TSM and some not.
In my forties, have lived and worked all over Latin America, seen a lot of Europe and in the past year spent a good amount of time in Asia - China, Japan, Thailand, Korea and the Philippines.
On a "for what it's worth basis" (and it probably is not much, I admit) to my TSM brothers I offer some of the lessons I think I have learned. Some of these insights have been expensive and/or embarrassing to learn. Some of them I really have not begun to understand until even recently:
1). Almost every where I go, the locals have a fraction of what I enjoy. Money,
freedom, physical goods, opportunity, you name it, I am unbelievably fortunate compared
to the people I meet. This sometimes affects how they view me, but most of the time
they are just curious about how our lifestyles differ. Sure, I have met some bar
girls who have tried (and succeeded) in separating as many won, yuan, pisos and baht
from my pocket as possible. To some, I am the fatted (in more ways than one) calf.
But not to everyone, and surprisingly, not to too many. I think that I have forced
money onto the people I have met more than I have been bled. The financial difference
has affected me more than some of the people I meet.
2). No matter where I go, there are people who can teach me some things that I will
never forget. I met a young woman last week in Manila who I will remember as long
as I live.
3). There is a lot to learn. Apparently, what there is to learn is increasing faster
than I am learning it. Every morning I wake up, I am further behind. My mission is
to keep waking up, as opposed to learning it all.
4). Never hate in plurals. I have been pushed out of the way (no easy feat) and cursed
at (I think)by more nationalities than I can count. No race, ethnic group or nationality
has the market cornered on any behaviour traits. If you think in plurals, love in
plurals.
5). There are no ugly women. Some are more beautiful than others, yes, but no ugly
ones. Arguing over which ones are most beautiful should be an olympic sport (I could
reprepresent any country and contend for a medal), but to denigrate any of their
beauty is petty and small. There are some pretty ugly men, mind you.
6). I am not entitled to anything just by showing up, but I can earn anything with
minimal investment or risk. A couple words in the home language, a joke or smile
and I am golden. A little respect and I am repaid in kind but many times over. A
lot of respect and I am treated like royalty (or at least royalty used to be treated
in England and still is in Thailand).
7). To be shocked by little things is a mistake. For a girl to scoop a few b, p,
y, w or cents off the bar or the dresser used to surprise me-before I understood
how little it meant to me and how much it meant to her. Now I make sure that I leave
little piles lying around wherever I go. Chambermaids love me.
8). My first (instinctive) reaction is usually wrong. I look at things through a
western or north american lens and that is usually wrong. I intend to memorize Ackbar's
best lines to buy myself some time so that I can give a more considered reaction.
My instinct often doesn't work in the corners of the world.
9). I need to be cautious but not be afraid of taking risks. I hate touts more than
anybody, but that should not blind me to the opportunities that the guy in the street
or the pedicab driver has to offer. Turns out those are some of the most memorable
of all.
10). Planning is essential, but not as important as knowing when to junk the plan
and play it by ear. Tight planning, loose implementation works best.
11). It isn't Kansas, Dorothy. If I wanted it to be like home, I should have stayed
there. Soup for breakfast and duck tongue for lunch do not sound great - until you
try them and find out they're not too bad. While I have had McDonald's in maybe 30
countries, I have also eaten some things that I still cannot name. Almost everything
deserves to be tried at least once, except those twins at La Bamba.
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